How to become a “Buddhist-style” teacher is not only a matter of learning, but also a skill that needs to be studied and slowly cultivated. The “Buddhist-style” here is not a matter of peace, nor is it a matter of letting go, but using positive management to make the teachers feel kind and firm, and make the children clear and determined.
On September 21st, the positive disciplinary lecturer Jin Junhong came to WUIS to give a whole day of positive disciplinary training for a group of enthusiastic and thoughtful teachers. The teachers who participated in the training were not only teachers, but also the “fighters” among the teachers – the homeroom teachers. They listened carefully and actively participated in the role-playing activities, acted as students, and experienced two different educational methods, positive and negative, and were deeply inspired.
Looking back carefully, the core concept of positive discipline is combination of kindness and firmness. Ms. Jin explained, “Kindness conveys love and freedom, showing respect for students’ needs. Firmness means rules and order. It is the need to respect teachers themselves and the circumstances. ” Imagine if a child meets kind and determined parents at home and teachers alike in school, he will be more inclined to grow up to be a happy, strong, and thoughtful person.
In order to cultivate excellent children, all the homeroom teachers set a goal to become “Buddhist-style teachers”. So, what do “Buddhist-style teachers” do? The following is a PD gadget for everyone to learn.
1
Positive Discipline leads teachers to know how to perceive and delve into the private logic behind children’s behavior. In general, teachers are used to seeing a child’s behavior and then directly judge whether it is good or not. In fact, the child’s behavior is only the tip of the iceberg. The sense of belonging and value behind it is crucial, because that is the reason for their behavior. In the face of children’s misconduct, punishment and indulgence may temporarily play a preventive role, but what teachers need to do the most is to understand the concept behind the child’s behavior, to understand how the child decides how to treat himself, how to treat others and the world, which is the most effective way of long-term discipline. Therefore, what teachers really need to do is help and guide children to find a sense of belonging and value, and feel the connection with the world.
2
Using positive language. Positive language is a kind and firm, clear and specific language that focuses on solving problems. The process of resolving emphasizes the initiative of the child’s participation and provides the child with selectivity, such as “Do you collect it yourself, or I keep it for you?” However, the positive language is not the master key but the beginning of solving problems. Avoiding negative language, such as the typical negative language, that is, “NO” language. Although it allows the child to follow the rules in a short time, it strengthens the content behind the word “No” and cannot guide the child to think.
3
Heuristic questions can help children relax and think. It promotes their ability to learn from their inner wisdom, create a stronger bond, encourage a sense of competence and personal autonomy, and cultivate the habit of independent thinking. It’s not a command or a direct instruction, because when we order the child to be lectured, the child feels very nervous and passive and can only go in from one ear and out the other, and it’s disrespectful to the child and affects the child’s self-esteem.
4
If you’re having a hard time with your kids, try to make an agreement with the child. In a listening and respectful manner, discuss with your child in a friendly way, ask your child about his feelings and thoughts on the problem. Then brainstorm for possible solutions, and agree on a specific deadline. When the deadline is reached, follow the agreement and firmly and respectfully ask your child to keep the agreement until it is completed.
5
Children need more encouragement but less praise. Encouragement should be specific so that it can help children develop their character strengths and abilities, experience the sense of self-worth and self-competence, and develop self-confidence instead of trust from others. Too much compliment may lead children to indulge themselves in compliment itself and tend to please others.
No one is perfect and children are no exception. Please allow them to make mistakes and give them the opportunity to reflect and correct, for every mistake is a chance for children to learn more. To seize opportunities is to seize the chances to learn.
It is neither easy nor simple to discipline children, but with methods of positive discipline, children will learn the kindness and firmness from teachers, become brave enough to accept themselves and to reflect on themselves, which is an essentially pleasant thing to do. Where there are Buddhist-style teachers, there are excellent students.
